. why not really relax and have a good time since they were committed to being there for two weeks!"Not at all!" he replied, turning to smile at his wife brilliantly. "Would you like some more wine, honey?" He downed his glass and reached for one of the bottles that the maid had left on the table.Susan was at first startled by Jamie's change in attitude, and she didn't know whether he was being sarcastic or if she ought to take him seriously. She was feeling a little self-conscious about the low cut dress she had chosen to wear at dinner... but she was beginning to feel a little desperate about ever being attractive to her husband again, and while dressing, she'd made a split second decision on the provocative black dress that showed more of her amply proportioned breasts than usual. Smiling hopefully back at her husband, she searched his face for a sign. Jamie returned her look good naturedly, and Susan felt herself relaxing a little. Perhaps things would be alright after all! She. .. I sang the old Stones song to myself to keep the tears at bay. But the song said 'Last time maybe, I don't know, ' and I didn't. I didn't know anything worth knowing; I didn't know myself, or my own mind.Thoughts of suicide were becoming more tempting than drug addiction. An overdose of deliciously numbing morphine, just one more, to finish it all for good. Leave the unwanted money to that new thing, Friends Of The Earth, or Oxfam ... after all, who would miss me?I checked into the hotel, following my usual ritual, which was a tiny bit comforting. When I thought of the house in the woods, my pulse still quickened. Despite my increasing depression, the lure of sex with Margaret still drew me there with magnetic force. This time however, I needed her mercy as well as her cruelty. Whichever way she went, whether she fucked me to happiness or even deeper despair, for a few hours I would think of nothing else but her, I would just experience Margaret. I lay on the bed, looking up at the.
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